5 Beard Tips Your Barber Doesn’t Want You To Know

  • Respect your beard as you would respect yourself.
  • Treat your beard as its own separate entity; an organism unto itself.
  • Trim every day if possible, even if just to clip one or two stray whiskers.
  • Beard oil in the morning, coconut oil in the evening... rub in the direction you want your beard to grow.
  • Don’t be afraid to consult a barber for a beard trim once a month or so, but only when you need a resculpt, or things have gotten out of hand.

[LEADING QUESTION] Is there a lady in your life who’s ever whispered in your ear “Your beard hurts my face; shave it off or we’re off?”

[COMPANY CORE VALUE] “Men shouldn’t be slaves to their beard,” said Jimmy Cyclone, a rock star and five-time beard architect who uses one dollop of beard oil every morning and evening.

[PRODUCT PLACEMENT] Jimmy’s “baby bottom soft” beard is all thanks to his new line of beard oils called “The Ladies’ Man Badass Beard Oil.”

[NAME DROPPING] Vogue loves The Ladies’ Man Badass Beard Oil!

[COMPANY BENEFITS] Have a coarse beard? You’re not alone. One in five men loses the lady in their life because of bad beard maintenance. Don’t be a slave to your beard. “The Ladies’ Man Badass Beard Oil is a revolution for you and your lady friend,” says Jimmy Cyclone. The Ladies’ Man is the only beard oil that’s anti-itch, baby bottom soft, and smells like victory.

[SOCIAL PROOF FEATURE] When asked by Vogue what life’s like with a beard, Jimmy Cyclone said, “Life’s better with a beard. Apply one dollop of The Ladies’ Man Miracle Morning beard oil in the morning, and one dollop of the Electric Evening beard oil in the evening. You can’t go wrong.”

[SOCIAL PROOF QUOTE] “My husband loves the Ladies’ Man Beard Oil. He says his beard doesn't itch anymore… and it feels softer to me too.”


[CALL TO ACTION] Beard architect and rock star Jimmy Cyclone says “The beard maketh the man.” His new line of beard oil is a game changer with the ladies. Check JimmyJams New Beard Oils.

[PRODUCT PRICE] The Ladies’ Man Badass Beard Oil comes in circular containers that are as heavy as Jimmy Cyclone’s left bicep. They are $17 each and sold only on Jimmy Cyclone’s website.

[PRODUCT DESCRIPTION] The Bang products come in unique sun and moon containers. The Ladies’ Man Miracle Morning, a hamster-scented beard oil for your beard to shine in the morning sun; The Ladies’ Man Electric Evening, a phoenix-scented beard oil for your beard to shimmer in the evening moonlight. One slap to the face every morning and evening, and you’ll have a beard as bright as a diamond.

[PRODUCT IMAGE] [ADD TO CART] $17 The Ladies’ Man Miracle Morning, $17 The Ladies’ Man Electric Evening. [DEMO VIDEO] Watch Demo Video:

[PRODUCT USE MISTAKES] Jimmy Cyclone, who recently turned 28, only needs his beard and a guitar. He’s one of those mad dude types who riffs about the meaning of life through song and spends just a few minutes a day on his beard maintenance before he’s out changing lives and inspiring young minds. “The biggest mistake strong, bearded men make is only oiling up the ol’ beard once a day,” he said. “It might look OK if your lady likes a scraggly beard, but if you want to be a ladies’ man you need Miracle Morning oil in the morning, Electric Evening oil in the evening... then rub in the direction you want your beard to grow.”


[BACKGROUND OF THE PERSON BEHIND THE BRAND] After growing up at Redcliffe — Nudgee College, class of ‘06 — Jimmy moved to London in the late 2010s. “Any man can start a beard, but a true man never finishes one,” he says. “Take what you do seriously, but never yourself. The ladies love that. All the ladies still ask me to this day: ‘Is that still your same beard from Nudgee ‘06?’”

Cyclone is a lyrical genius, teaches algebra in London, and is waiting on some geezer on the drums so he can release his EP album.

While his drummer’s taking his sweet time, he’s growing his beard, cooking hard-boiled eggs, and catching a few sunrises. He was spotted on a London subway by a man with a scraggly beard one day, and has been admired by all ever since.

About three days later, he went into the beard business himself. “There’s nothing a few beers and a good beard can’t fix,” he says. “I wanted to do a line of beard oil that matches the human circadian rhythm.” The beardy goodness, he says, is soft, thick, and full of joy.

“When somebody says to you, ‘Wow, that’s a jammin’ beard!’ that’s a man’s beard‘.”

[TESTIMONIAL] I’m a bearded man, and used The Ladies’ Man beard oil before rocking up to a mate’s party. I was the envy of all non-bearded men at the party. And on average I now lift more weights than I did without Jimmy Cyclone’s beard oil. Ladies love my beard. — Joey McHutchins

[CALL TO ACTION] Try The BANG! By Jimmy Cyclone Beard Oil Line! You’ll love it.

[UNIQUE SELLING POINT] Bang products are handmade by strong men with beards. No child labor, no beard automation, and definitely no men without beards. If you get scraggly beard: trim any stray whiskers, discontinue use, and see your barber.

[BUNDLE OFFER] Biker Boys Bang Bundle ($147), Macho Men Bang Bundle ($177), Men With Muscles Bang Bundle ($197).

[NEWSLETTER SIGNUP] Bearded men are far more likely to win elections. People trust a Neanderthal-looking leader. Join the Bang Club to learn how to become a reliable beardsman who follows his instincts.